Blessing
My father did something very special on my thirteenth birthday, something which I now know had a big impact on my life. After an evening church service, my father and a close family friend took me aside and verbally blessed me.
As they blessed me, I can remember standing at the front of the church and becoming teary eyed for some reason. At the time, I could not tell you why I was crying. Looking back though, I realize that it was because of how special and powerful that moment was - a time when my father empowered me to fulfill God’s calling for my life. Words of affirmation bring life, but words of blessing bring empowerment.
Verbal blessings come in many different shapes and sizes. They can range from a simple blessing (Ruth 2:4), to the laying on of hands (Acts 8:17). When you bless someone with your words, you pronounce a solemn, prophetic benediction upon them (Genesis 27). You consecrate them for a specific purpose and goal. Blessing someone also expresses a wish and desire of happiness towards a person, encouraging them to fulfill the objective.
Throughout Scripture, we see that verbally blessing someone is an important and powerful thing. In Genesis 49, we read the story of how Jacob took great care to bless his twelve sons before he died. The special blessings which he pronounced over each one of them, would come to pass as Jacob’s sons became the twelve tribes of Israel.
In Mark 10:13, we read of how a group of parents brought their “young children to (Jesus), that he should touch them.” These parents were bringing their children to Jesus so that He could bless them! They understood the power of a verbal blessing.
Look what happens next: “…(Jesus’) disciples rebuked those that brought them” (Mark 10:13). The disciples didn’t get it. They didn’t see the importance of blessing a young person. They didn’t think it was a good use of Jesus’ time.
Jesus was quick to correct His disciples, “Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God” (Mark 10:14)! Jesus then took the children “up in His arms, put his hands upon them, and blessed them” (Mark 10:16).
Fathers, when you bless your sons as described in Scripture, it brings about great and mighty things. Proverbs 10:22 says, “The blessing of the LORD, it maketh rich, and he addeth no sorrow with it.”
You are probably wondering how a father is to bless his son. What does it look like? I was recently talking with Matt, a well spoken young man who is faithfully serving the Lord. He shared with me a wonderful story of how his father has been blessing him and the other nine children in the family.
Matt said, “One thing he will always do as we are praying as a family, and I have noticed this, is that he will always pray for each child individually. Starting from the oldest and going to the youngest. He will use their names and pray that God would bless them in some way. Just to see that is heartening. It has been a real encouragement for me.”
Matt went on to share that as his father is blessing the other children, he anxiously waits to hear how his father is going to bless him. What an encouragement that must be for Matt and the other children! Fathers, blessing your son is not time consuming or difficult. It can be incorporated into what you are already doing. In fact, God gave us a good example of what words to use in Numbers 6:22-27:
“And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying, 'Speak unto Aaron and unto his sons, saying, On this wise ye shall bless the children of Israel, saying unto them, The LORD bless thee, and keep thee: The LORD make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee: The LORD lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace…'"
This is not to say that every verbal blessing should follow this exact pattern. On the contrary! A blessing should flow from the heart. Blessing a son is not part of a step program in which you follow steps one, two, and three. It is a tool that God has given fathers to empower and encourage their sons.
Due to the empowering nature of verbal blessings, blessings can be used not only to encourage a son, but also to change a son. For example, if your son struggles with demonstrating personal responsibility, you can verbally bless and empower him to be responsible:
_______(Son’s name here), I bless you with personal responsibility, so that you may fulfill the responsibilities that are set before you today and bring honor and glory to God.
The same is true for self-control:
_______(Son’s name here), I bless you with self-control today, so that you may demonstrate the power of the Holy Spirit in your life and accomplish the good works which God has established for you.
Pronouncing multiple blessing over your son does not have to take place on separate occasions. They can be joined together and have the same effectiveness. Take for example a young man who lacks wisdom and discretion:
_______(Son’s name here), I bless you with wisdom that you might know what is the acceptable will of God so that you may live according to His word in all wisdom and understanding. I also bless you with discretion so that you may discern between right and wrong, good and evil, and bring joy to those who are around you.
As a father blesses his son, he should in faith expect results, “for whatsoever is not of faith is sin” (Romans 14:23). It may take some time for a son to show signs of change once a father has verbally blessed him. Nevertheless, a father must remain confident “that he (God) which hath begun a good work in (your son) will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ” (Philippians 1:6).
One more thing that I would like to point out about verbally blessing your son is that at first it may be a very uncomfortable thing for you to do. It’s not easy to do something for the first time, but with a little practice you’ll get the hang of it.
Also, don’t be afraid of what others will think if they see you blessing your son. Once they have learned what you are doing, most people will want you to teach them how to bless their own children. So, don’t let the fear of man creep in and be ready to minister to others as well!
Words in Practice
We have seen how important it is for a father to encourage his son with words of affirmation and blessing. It is now time to put these words into practice. Below are additional ideas and practical applications for a father who is looking to encourage and empower a son.
During the next week, find four situations in which you can encourage your son through words of affirmation.
If you are not sure what to say, ask God to give you the words.
Then spend five minutes writing out a list of quick, yet meaningful phrases which you can use to encourage your son.
Verbally bless your son once this week.
Chose a time when most of the family will be present, but when there will be few distractions.
If you think it would be best, take a few minutes to write the blessing out beforehand. There is nothing wrong with reading the blessing to your son.
If you can not think of something to bless your son with, look for an area in his life that needs improvement and bless him with the necessary character to overcome this difficulty.
Make sure that as you bless him you don’t demean him in any way. Don’t point out his failures; just bless him with the character that he needs to develop.
Once you have blessed him, reinforce any positive changes that you see in his life by praising him with words of affirmation.
Record any positive or negative changes which take place in your son’s life as a result of affirming him and blessing him. Over the course of the week, point out to your son the positive changes that have been made and bless him with the power to overcome the negative ones.
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